I can't say that I like it, man. I like the /lyrics/. But I feel like the flow was off a bit, and the vocals really need a tune-up on the quality level. Not sure if it's the mixing or the equipment- but I can tell you worked hard on it, man. Don't stop tryin, you've got a good voice for this. Just aim for catchiness a bit more next time, I guess.
-DJDj