This is my last apology. I have been spiraling out of control for years now. My alcoholism and my poor judgement have cost me many things- not the least of which is my peace of mind.
Something that ranks high up there is my friendship with an abrasive but caring friend. Rusta. People on this site are probably just about sick of hearing me apologize over and over- but I keep messing up over and over.
But no more.
I have finally admitted that I am powerless to the effects of alcohol, my life has become unmanageable. I’ve joined AA, and am celebrating the end of my 5th day successfully sober. I plan to stay this way the rest of my life.
Over the years, I have insulted others and embarrassed myself. I have been a fool and wasted countless opportunities- but no more. The next time I work on music, it will be to actually do so professionally, fully sober, and with the intention of inspiring others to live life the same way.
Rusta, you’re the first I want to apologize to. You’ve seen me come back and go out into that endless sea of drunkenness so many times. You’ve forgiven me far more times than I’ve deserved, but you always came back. Even this most recent time, you gave me another undeserved chance, which I squandered.
Now I’m asking for one more, undeserved chance. But this time, it shall not be squandered. I have found my place. I have hit rock bottom, and realized the truth. I am an alcoholic- and I am so very legitimately sorry for how I’ve behaved.